


Whether You're a Top or a Bottom Man

by Brb-Rope (BrbRope)



Series: Whether You're a Top or a Bottom Man [1]
Category: Green Eggs and Ham (Cartoon)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Bisexual Character, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Enthusiastic Consent, Face-Fucking, Fluff, Hair-pulling, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Praise Kink, Size Difference, Size Kink, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:34:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21636721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrbRope/pseuds/Brb-Rope
Summary: Sam thought he’d have to do a lot more coaxing to get Guy to let him suck his dick. The big guy gets so flustered at what little innuendo Sam floats his way, and Sam loves it. Loves that he can get the grumpy fellow blushing at a few words and the sway of his hips.
Relationships: Guy Am I/Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham)
Series: Whether You're a Top or a Bottom Man [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681912
Comments: 30
Kudos: 273





	Whether You're a Top or a Bottom Man

**Author's Note:**

> -And I just wrote over 2,000 words of Green Eggs and Ham Porn inspired by the discord chatroom. How's been your afternoon?

* * *

Guy makes the most adorable noises when Sam kisses the tip of his cock, then takes a nice long lick. It’s a lovely dick, nearly as long as Sam’s forearm, and so thick he can’t quite get his hands around the base, where the faint swell of a knot teases. 

Sam thought he’d have to do a lot more coaxing to get Guy to let him suck his dick. The big guy gets so flustered at what little innuendo Sam floats his way, and Sam loves it. Loves that he can get the grumpy fellow blushing at a few words and the sway of his hips. 

He likes sucking Guy’s cock too. Cocksucking isn't something Sam gets a chance to do very often, but he enjoys it, using his mouth and hands to reduce someone to begging. Guy smells good too, rich and musky. He tastes nice, heavy and warm on Sam’s tongue. 

It’s a genuine treat. 

“s-Sam.” Guy nearly sobs, hips jerking up before he can get them under control again, doing his best not to choke Sam. He almost wants to tell Guy to relax, go nuts, but that might be more fun later, if he can convince Guy to let him do this again. Show Guy that Sam’s not breakable. 

Sam wants to do this again, show Guy all the spots on his body he didn’t know about. Nibble on his ears a bit, pull on that lovely thick ruff. 

He’s going to have so much _fun_. Most big men like Guy usually won’t let Sam take control based on his size, but Guy? Oh, he surrenders so beautifully. He wonders if he can get Guy to roll over later, so he can play with his lovely solid arse. Butt like that was made for fondling. 

Guy makes another choked off sound, one hand pressed against his mouth to keep from getting loud, the other gripping the blankets he’s laying on with a white-knuckle grip. He can feel the tension in Guy’s thighs, the muscles twitching as he tries not to move. 

Sam grins, mouthing around the base of Guy’s cock for a moment, tasting the warmth of his knot. It looks like it'd be too big to fit inside of him, but it might be worth it too. 

He tucks that thought aside for the spank-bank, and focuses on tracing the vein on the underside of Guy’s cock to the head, then swallowing him down as far as he can. Even with his hands down at the base of Guy’s dick, he can’t quite get them to meet, he’s just too big. Guy doesn’t seem to care, taking his hand out of his mouth to brush up against Sam’s face for a moment before pulling away. 

It could be a tender caress, if Sam was more into deceiving himself. Proof that Guy really cares about him. 

-Or a sign that Guy’s about to come. He can feel Guy’s dick pulse under his hands, pulling his head back so he can taste everything without choking on it. It’s warm and slightly bitter, kind of salty. The texture is always weird, but that doesn’t stop Sam from cleaning every drop off Guy’s dick with his tongue, right down to the swell of his knot, which didn’t get that much bigger. 

“Stop, stop.” Guy finally whimpers, picking up Sam and hauling him up, burying his face in Sam’s neck. Guy’s arm is strong around Sam’s middle, his other hand cradling the back of Sam’s head. 

Sam’s usually leery about being grabbed like this, it generally leads to crushing, but he feels safe and secure in Guy’s grasp. Sam goes lax, idly snuzzling against Guy’s cheek with a happy hum. 

“That was… amazing.” Guy finally chokes out, sounding breathless. “Holy son of a yip, Sam.” 

“It was my pleasure.” Sam grins, because really, it was. 

Guy rumbles, deep in his chest, turning his face towards Sam’s, and for a heart stopping moment, Sam thinks Guy is going to kiss him. 

He wants that, he _wants_ that, but he doesn’t want it at the same time. Not as a sloppy thank you for a blowjob. 

The feel of Guy’s tongue on the side of his mouth is… unexpected, and sends a shiver down his spine, in a good way. He doesn’t pull away as Guy licks Sam’s lips, cleaning the last of his spunk off of Sam’s fur, distracted enough that he doesn’t notice when he opens his mouth and Guy starts to kiss him. 

_Really_ kiss him, Sam’s toes curling in delight. Holy yip, Guy’s got some moves, and kisses like he could do this all day. Sam is more than fine with that. 

He’s a melted puddle when Guy finally pulls away. “I'd love to return the favour.” Guy rumbles, shifting his grasp on Sam so he can kiss his way down Sam’s chest. 

Sam has just enough active brain cells spark to figure out where this is going the second before Guy mouths Sam’s dick. It’s so tiny, _Sam’s_ so tiny compared to Guy, but Guy doesn’t seem to care, giving a happy little hum as he licks Sam’s cock. 

Sam’s hands flail then grab on to Guy’s ears as Guy opens his mouth and swallows him down. There’s no teeth at all, just lots of tongue and gentle suction.

“Guy.” Sam breathes, trying not to move because _where the yip_ did this come from?

Guy pulls away with a soft pop. “It’s okay.” He looks up at Sam, his expression amused and very satisfied. “You can ride my face.”

And with that, he’s back to sucking on Sam, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and _holy-_

His hips buck, snapping forward, and Guy just takes it in stride. He’s big enough and Sam’s small enough that Sam can’t choke him, no matter how hard he thrusts. Guy’s big hands cradle his hips, holding him up so he can move, thrust in and out of the warm mouth.

Sam’s never had anyone do this for him before, and it’s _so good_ it’s almost too much. He comes with a studdering cry, limbs wrapped around Guy’s head, and Guy just takes it, drinking him down. 

He whimpers, completely boneless as he finishes, realising he’s probably holding too tightly to the base of Guy’s ears. Guy doesn’t seem to notice or care, making soothing sounds as he tucks Sam against his chest, one big hand petting Sam’s back. It’s both soothing and arousing, and he almost wants to ask if Guy’s up for another round, but he doesn’t think he can scrape the energy together for another blow job. 

He doesn’t want to sleep either, just bask in the afterglow and the feeling of Guy touching him like this. 

“I think…” Guy rumbles thoughtfully, nuzzling the side of Sam’s head. “That you’ve been very good.”

He doesn’t know why, but the phrase seems to spark something in him, a whimper escaping Sam’s lips as his hips automatically twitching forward. He wants Guy to call him that again. He’ll be good for Guy, very very good.

Guy nips at Sam’s ear, then soothes the slight sting with a kiss. “So good-” He says and Sam whimpers again at the word. “-that you should have a _treat_.” 

Sam doesn’t have any words, but he nods enthusiastically. One of Guy’s hands glides own Sam’s back, giving his butt an appreciative squeeze, before his fingers slide in between Sam’s thighs, then _up_ , pressing against his crack.

Oh goodness. Sam grinds his hips down, trying to get some traction, a bit of friction there. It's been ages since he's had a chance to ride anything. 

“I need you to say it.” Guy says, stubbornly not moving his hand from where it is. “Yes? Or No?” 

“Yes.” Sam breathes, not having to think about it. “Yes, yes, yes. Guy, _yes_.” 

Guy hums, sounding pleased and his hand disappears for a moment, Sam letting out a reluctant whine at the break in contact. “Easy.” Guy murmurs soothingly, and Sam can hear the click of his briefcase, always near at hand. There’s some rustling, and a pop. A moment more and Guy’s fingers are back, covered in some sort of oil. 

Guy’s _clever_ fingers, his inventor fingers that rub and twist just right to light Sam up without pressing inside. He’s completely hard again, thrusting up against the fur of Guy’s belly. He wants more, but he doesn’t want this to stop either. 

“How?” Sam demands, grabbing handfuls of Guy’s ruff and pulling on it. “I thought you-” 

He’d thought Guy was straight, that he’d had no experience with men and very little with sex. 

“Proud QUILTBAG member in school.” Guy informs him, his voice a low growl that’s dripping with sex. “Openly Bi. I’m just usually more interested in inventing than dating or sex.”

“Oooh.” That… made a certain amount of sense, really.

“There’s more overlap than you’d think, with inventions and sex.” Guy rubs his cheek against Sam’s, his voice against Sam’s ear. “Ever thought about playing with toys?” 

Oh shit. Sam whimpers at the thought. 

“Think I might have a vibrator about your size.” Guy muses, a finger tip gently, ever so carefully pressing against Sam’s hole, and sliding inside. It’s always a little weird, being filled, but it doesn’t hurt at all and he almost wants to ask for another finger inside him. 

Guy doesn’t, just thrusts it in and out with small little motions, letting Sam get used to the feeling. “I wonder how many times I could make you come with that buzzing against your prostate.” He muses, sounding like he’s enjoying the thought. “Or how fast or slow. Spend ages working you up with it on a slow setting.”

“Yes.” Sam agrees. He likes this plan. He likes it a lot. 

“Think I can scavenge the parts to put together a fucking machine.” Guy continues, as calmly as one discusses the weather. “All sorts of settings. Long and slow, or fast and deep. Play with you as it fills you up, over and over again.” 

“Please, please please.” Sam gasps, trying to force Guy’s finger in deeper. Guy obliges, teasing him with just a little bit more, but not quite enough to make him come. 

“Course, the joy of a fucking machine is that you can put different dildos on it.” Guy gives him a light peck on the lips, moving so he’s speaking in Sam’s other ear. His finger curve in, finding that spot that makes Sam’s toes curl. “You could tie me down, have your way with me. Fuck my mouth while the machine fills my the other end with a big fat cock. Or put a smaller one on, and both you and the machine fuck me at the same time.” 

Sam screams, coming so hard that he thinks he sees stars. He wobbles for a moment, then decides that it’s time for a nap, right now. 

When he’s aware of his surroundings again, he takes stock of where he is. Fingers and hands, check. Feet and toes, check. His butt’s a little wonky, and his dick doesn’t want to think about coming out to play for a while. 

He’s also warm and comfortable, a large hand stroking his back as someone hums. He opens his eyes to find himself sprawled out on top of Guy, who has his eyes closed, a relaxed happy look on his face. 

“Guy?” Sam asks, his voice cracking slightly. 

Guy opens his eyes halfway, looking at him with a fond expression. “How are you feeling?” 

He takes a second to think about it. “... Good.” Sam decides. “Um. Do you want me to-?” He tries to gesture below, to Guy’s cock, but he doesn’t think he can muster the energy to do more than kind of flop his arm in the general direction. 

“I’m good.” Guy assures him. “Generally not all that interested, and none at all if my partner isn’t.” 

“Oh.” Sam hums, resting his head back on Guy’s chest. That might explain why Guy didn’t seem interested until Sam got his hands on Guy’s dick. Very enthusiastic hands. “So. Um. That other stuff you were saying? About me-?”

“You on top? Yeah, I’ve got no problem with it.” Guy shrugs a shoulder, leaning his head back and closing his eyes again. “Size isn’t everything. As long as we’re both interested in it and having fun, I’m game.” 

“Oh. _Oh._ ” It looks like he really underestimated his partner there. 

“Later though.” Guy opens an eye, giving Sam a crooked smile. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a nap before even thinking about doing anything else.” 

“Yeah.” Sam grins. “Then food?”

“Green eggs and ham.” Guy easily agrees, giving a little wiggle and closing his eyes to sleep. 

“You know me so well.” Sam grins, his chest overflowing with warm fuzzies. 

Guy huffs in amusement, his breath slowing to slumber, still holding on to Sam. Sam watches him sleep for a moment, then closes his eyes as well. 

There were a lot of things he’d like to teach Guy, but there was a lot he thinks he'd like to learn from Guy too. 

-fin-


End file.
